Why Your Team Sucks 2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.

Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Tampa Bay Bucs. Your 2. 01. 6 record: 9- 7.

Khloé Kardashian Celebrates Halloween As Mother of Dragons from HBO's 'Game Of Thrones' Rosanna Pansino Creates Spooky Treats That Anyone Can Make! Watch Movies Online at BoxTV.com. Watch all your favourite Movies online and TV shows online at BoxTV.com. Watch Full Episodes of Your Favourite TV Shows and Watch. Your 2016 record: 9-7. In those seven losses, the Bucs gave up nearly five touchdowns a game. Derek Carr hung 500 yards on them (in a game where the Raiders committed. E! Entertainment Television, LLC. A Division of NBCUniversal with news, shows, photos, and videos.

In those seven losses, the Bucs gave up nearly five touchdowns a game. Derek Carr hung 5. Raiders committed 2. The Rams hung 3. 7 on them somehow. This is a rough estimate, but 9. Tavon Austin’s total receiving yards last year came against the Bucs.

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But please keep telling me that this is an up- and- coming defense. This team still starts Chris Conte. During real games, no less!

Your coach: Dirk Koetter. Well, I am sure there are plenty of people that think my playcalling stinks… But I’ve been doing it for 3. I don’t think I’m going to forget how.” Well actually, Dirk, in your NFL career your teams have had a winning percentage below . So it’s not that you’ve forgotten how to call plays, but rather the fact that you never learned how to call them to begin with. By the way, the Bucs were this season’s designated Hard Knocks victim.

Let’s see what kind of EXCLUSIVE ACCESS we’ve been given into Koetter and his coaching methods. Christ. Honestly, it’s like they just draw slogans out of a hat every year. Your quarterback: Congratulations, Jameis Winston!

Your sexual battery case was finally dismissed after reaching an undisclosed settlement with your accuser! Finally, you can put this whole ordeal behind you.

What a hardship it must have been. For YOU. Now Jameis is free to be a “leader” who “absorbs the playbook like a sponge” and “routinely commits turnovers that belong in silent comedies”: Every time I gotta read some horseshit about Jameis’s uncommon maturity and growth as a passer, it’s like people completely forget that, at least once a game, he will take the snap and proceed to re- enact every Nordberg scene from The Naked Gun.

By the way, Jameis has been the showcase star of this season’s Hard Knocks. Here he is killing a cockroach while it’s mating: Technically, that’s ALSO sexual assault. And here he is acting like Taylor Swift in the front row of an award show: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Jameis Winston may not be the most genuine (or mature) fellow in the world. Fresh off beating the rap, he had the balls to lecture a group of schoolgirls about being silent, polite, and gentle. Fuck his phony ass with a pirate flag. Thankfully, the Bucs imported a MENTOR to help him become 5.

That’s right. It’s Harvard Man, in the flesh! I could be dead in the ground 5. I swear that Ryan Fitzpatrick could still be holding down an NFL roster spot for no reason whatsoever. This team now has not one, but TWO Harvard grads on the roster. I swooooon at the potential for elevated sideline discourse. Oh, nothing coach.

Just sipping some Gatorade and discussing the impact on South China Sea trade routes should a preemptive strike in North Korea take place [FARTS]” What’s new that sucks: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU CUT THE KICKER. Yes, after trading up to draft Roberto Aguayo in the second round, the Bucs had to cut him and replace him with Nick Folk…Priceless. That’s what you get for FSU- ifying half the roster. No one should ever let this team forget about the Aguayo draft bust. This was already one of the worst picks in draft history before they released the poor bastard.

They should put a monument to the trade next to the stadium bathroom. GM Jason Licht should have to walk around with a sandwich board that says I TOOK A KICKER IN THE SECOND ROUND LIKE A MORON all day long.“I’m owning up to it by releasing him. It was a bold move and it didn’t work out. I don’t know what else to say.” “Bold” isn’t the word I’d use there, amigo. Elsewhere on the roster, De.

Sean Jackson is here! On paper, the arrival of Jackson and absolute stud TE OJ Howard (drafted to replace the drunk driver they originally had at that slot) make the Bucs one of the best young passing teams in football. But, as someone who has watched De. Sean Jackson over the years, I can assure you that every accidental fumble Winston makes is one that Jackson can make deliberately. Doug Martin was suspended for the first four games for Adderall, and will be suspended four more after he beats my ass for screaming MUSCLE HAMSTER at him from a nearby balcony. Mike Evans drops passes as swiftly as he drops visible Anthem protests.

Jon Gruden is getting inducted into the team’s ring of honor this season, even though Bill Callahan’s playsheet should have been inducted way before him. One of the linemen dined and dashed on a five- figure club tab.

What has always sucked: Miko Grimes claimed that she deliberately got her husband cut in Miami so he could come to Tampa. You played yourself, lady. Only an idiot would scheme to leave the glistening shores of South Beach to go to live in the middle of a Dog the Bounty Hunter fancon. She must have thought she could avoid the tax man there. I may be biased here because a jury of Tampa tattoo artists bankrupted this site’s former company, but for real, Fuck Tampa. Tampa is the Arizona of Florida. Tampa is a seething mass of divorcees and wannabe pirates deliberately living in the cheesiest possible area.

The Bucs stadium isn’t even the most popular building on its block (that honor goes to Mons Venus). There’s a reason that Jon Gruden has a completely unironic love of Hooters.

That’s 1. 00 percent Tampa right there. I’m surprised they don’t blare Hoobastank from air raid signals all day long. I took my family to Tampa for Spring Break once.

Seagulls tried to eat our dinner every night and some lady brought an entire hi- fi system to the pool so she could play Bon Jovi. Tampa is the worst. It’s the only city in America aiming to REDUCE mass transit. Nazis are everywhere. Local sports teams had to give money just to get a Confederate statue taken down and it still hasn’t been taken down. A local middle school tried to sell kids a $1. The Scientologists are the most normal people there.

Fuck Tampa eternally. VIVA GAWKER, MOTHERFUCKER. What might not suck: They’re good enough on offense to score 4. Did you know? HEAR IT FROM BUCS FANS! Matthew: Robert Aguayo. Robert Aguayo. Robert Aguayo.

Anton: There is nothing worse than waiting for decades for your team to get a potentially elite QB and then have him be an alleged rapist. Who tells groups of young girls they need to shut up and let the men lead.

Alex: Fuck Josh Freeman. Joseph: In two season Jameis will be the Bucs all=time leader in passing yards, surpassing Vinny fucking Testaverde. Jeb Lund: The problem with Why Your Team Sucks is that, every year, I strive to think of something uniquely bad about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, some suck- property that grounds the team athletically and geographically in a characteristic awfulness that other people can point to and say, “I get why thisteam blows.”But I’m starting to think that’s misguided, like writing a negative review of a flat, sad Big Mac. It’s a mediocrity expected, universal and unenlightening, as dissatisfying as you want it to be, assuming you need to buy it at all. Apart from the pirate ship, Raymond James Stadium is unlovely in the way most stadiums are unlovely.

It’s not exiled to some featureless exurban hinterland, but it’s not in a downtown core accessible to walking or convenient public transportation.

Read a Bunch of Trump Administration Dummies Argue With an Email Troll They Thought Was Their Coworkers. Secretary of Energy Rick Perry is not the only member of Donald Trump’s White House with a “Jerky Boys” problem. A CNN report on Monday indicated a number of Trump administration officials, including dearly departed communications director Anthony Scaramucci, Homeland Security Adviser Tom Bossert and ambassador to Russia- designate Jon Huntsman all fell for an email prank from Twitter user @SINON_REBORN, who describes himself on Twitter as a “lazy anarchist.”The three officials all fell for the UK- based prankster, who posed as various other administration staff or members of Trump’s awful family. Here’s what the prankster wrote to Bossert while posing as Trump’s son- in- law and boy wonder, Jared Kushner: Tom, we are arranging a bit of a soirée towards the end of August.

It would be great if you could make it, I promise food of at least comparible [sic] quality to that which we ate in Iraq. Should be a great evening. Bossert wrote back: Thanks, Jared. With a promise like that, I can’t refuse. Also, if you ever need it, my personal email is [redacted]. Scaramucci, who was ousted this week after his very public feud with former Chief of Staff Reince Preibus led to Priebus being kicked out too, fell for the prank as well .. Priebus.@SINON_REBORN, under the guise of “Priebus,” seemed to successfully goad Scaramucci into getting very mad online.

It’s unclear whether the email messages contributed to the feud, according to CNN. Watch Route Irish Online (2017). Here’s what the fake Priebus wrote: I had promised myself I would leave my hands mud free, but after reading your tweet today which stated how; ‘soon we will learn who in the media who has class, and who hasn’t’, has pushed me to this. That tweet was breathtakingly hypocritical, even for you. At no stage have you acted in a way that’s even remotely classy, yet you believe that’s the standard by which everyone should behave towards you? General Kelly will do a fine job.

I’ll even admit he will do a better job than me. But the way in which that transition has come about has been diabolical. And hurtful. I don’t expect a reply. Scaramucci replied, with his typical braggadocio: You know what you did. We all do. Even today. But rest assured we were prepared.

A Man would apologize. The prankster shot back: I can’t believe you are questioning my ethics! The so called ‘Mooch’, who can’t even manage his first week in the White House without leaving upset in his wake. I have nothing to apologize for.”Scaramucci replied: Read Shakespeare. Particularly Othello.

You are right there. My family is fine by the way and will thrive.

I know what you did. No more replies from me. In a followup message @SINON_REBORN tweeted but which was not included in the CNN report, the fake Priebus taunted Scaramucci about his “zero dollar pay scale,” adding “Keep spell checking your press releases, Anthony. It’s me that will be thriving.”Though Scaramucci did not reply to the final message, it’s unclear whether that was because he had realized “Priebus” was a fake, or he was just getting madder. But “the Mooch” fell for the prank not just once, but twice, as the prankster also pretended to be Huntsman. The troll sent Scaramucci an email saying: Who’s [sic] head should roll first?

Maybe I can help things along somewhat. Scaramucci replied, “both of them,” almost certainly referring to Priebus and Trump’s resident angry bigot, Chief Strategist Steve Bannon. After a bit of @SINON_REBORN’s flattery, Scaramucci, who surely should have been at least partially aware of the Russian ambassador- designate’s location, replied, “Are you in Moscow now? If not please visit.”The prankster also posed as Trump’s son Eric, fooling Huntsman.

In response to an unspecified note from the fake Eric, the real Huntsman wrote: Thanks for the thoughtful note. Watch A Married Couple Online Fandango. Russia will be a challenging but no doubt rewarding assignment. The fake Eric shot back: Maybe we could have Dad sat (sic) on a horse, top off, giving the full Putin!

He’s in better shape than his suits suggest. Amazingly, the real Eric Trump was the smartest person in the room. He quickly caught on to the hoax, telling @SINON_REBORN, “I have sent this to law enforcement who will handle from here.” According to CNN, none of the officials involved clicked any email links, nor was the prankster motivated by anything more than “mischief.” But had any of them done so, said link could have easily led to any number of malicious outcomes—like a compromised email account or malware being dumped on their smartphones or computers. Look, phishing scams can hit just about everyone, and the Trump administration is composed of people who are just humans.

Very, very dumb humans, who should probably not be trusted with any kind of serious responsibilities.[CNN].